In the old days, before the Premier League ruined, sorry, elevated football to new and giddy heights, pre-season training meant time spent working off the copious beer gut earned in some tawdry Spanish hellhole.
Today, it’s a chance to polish those innate silky skills in front of those less gifted than you. So, well done, Chelsea’s Yossi Benayoun. You are to be congratulated for this cheeky Messi-esque wonder goal. Against Wycombe Wanderers of all people. Let’s see you repeat it at Old Trafford in September.