Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

New Revelations From The Secret Footballer

secrethero1.jpg

The Banksy of the beautiful game reveals the truth about dressing room drug habits and racism

Interviewing The Secret Footballer is 10 times more exciting than interviewing a normal player. For a start, he is all the things a non-secret footballer isn’t: forthright, honest and controversial. Plus, the covert procedures that surround any interaction with him lends the whole thing the thrilling atmosphere of a spy novel. Usually he does interviews over the phone using a voice distorter, but when ShortList caught up with him he was on the team coach so he had to be even more careful. He snuck to the back with his laptop to slyly tap out his thoughts on some of the game’s current burning issues. He told the lads he was on Facebook, if you’re wondering…

FERGIE’S BOOK

“The fact that he criticised former players was totally unnecessary. What can be achieved by talking about players that have contributed so much to [United’s] success, as well as his own success? It shows a lack of respect and is proof that there are still some things that are better off left in the past.”

JACK WILSHERE SMOKING

“I was once outside a hotel when the Inter Milan team bus rolled up. Literally, to a man, each player pulled out a cigarette and started puffing away. It looked more like a social thing than a dirty habit, but the Italians have a way of making almost anything look cool. In terms of cocaine and other recreational drugs, the lower down [the leagues] you go, the more you’ll find that sort of thing. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t players taking banned substances at the top. I have seen players literally go into a blind panic when drug testers turn up.”

RACISM

“Racism, in its crudest form, does not exist around the training ground – it simply would not be tolerated. Roy Hodgson’s ‘space monkey’ reference was something that went over most people’s heads, including mine. Naturally, the media whipped it up and suggested that it had racial overtones, which was bullsh*t. The dressing room is a safe haven so far as tactics and coaching are concerned, but players are far too self-important to have to take the sh*t that they were once expected to.”

PROTECTING HIS IDENTITY

“I’ve had a few people threaten to blow my cover, but they don’t know for sure that it’s me that writes the articles. Because of that, I always point out that if they name names without proof and subsequently get it wrong, they’re open to all kinds of litigation. Unless I say, ‘I am The Secret Footballer’, then it’s always going to be fraught with danger for somebody to name a name.”

Tales From The Secret Footballer is out now and you can buy a copy here

(Images: Sam Armstrong/PA)

Related

redknap.jpg

Harry Redknapp on ‘creative’ management

Jose2HERO.jpg

The New Breeds of Management: Part 1

PellegriniHERO.jpg

The New Breeds of Management: Part 2

BARCROFT_ancity_jkl00096_06.jpg

Fight Club: When teammates get feisty

og1.jpg

Football's 10 Most Spectacular Own Goals

football.jpg

Football Manager top tips

More

The Rock reveals how he used to win free crates of Stone Cold's beer

Enemies in the ring, mates outside it

by Tom Victor
28 Jul 2017

There’s a new type of Fantasy Football League available this season

We've been crying out for this for years

by Tom Victor
25 Jul 2017

European Cup winners Aston Villa just won a £13 children's trophy

Who said pre-season trophies don't count?!

by Tom Victor
25 Jul 2017

Watch Romelu Lukaku score his first excellent Manchester derby goal

The new man's found his form already

by Alex Finnis
21 Jul 2017

Alan Shearer earns an outrageous amount of money for his punditry

Does he deserve it?

by Dave Fawbert
19 Jul 2017

Tour de France cyclist shares gross photo of the state of his legs

Surely they're going to explode?

by Alex Finnis
19 Jul 2017

Why we will always love Roger Federer more than the underdog

He's the greatest ever, and yet we still want him to keep winning

by Tom Victor
18 Jul 2017

Mayweather or McGregor? 14 experts make their decision

Not everyone's backing Mayweather in the fight of the century

by Alex Christian
14 Jul 2017

Man United and Man City are making poignant kit changes for friendly

Putting rivalry to one side

by Tom Victor
14 Jul 2017

Southampton kill over-elaborate transfer announcements stone dead

Well played, Southampton

by Tom Victor
14 Jul 2017