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FA cup singles

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From Chas & Dave to Donna Summer, ShortList pays tribute to the lost tradition of marking a visit to Wembley on vinyl

1. OSSIE’S DREAM
Tottenham Hotspur, 1981
Written by cockney duo Chas & Dave in honour of Tottenham’s Argentinian midfield maestro Ossie Ardiles, it contained the profound lyrics, “Ossie’s going to Wembley, his knees have gone all trembly.” It also featured a rap from the man himself, cruelly forced to mock his own Latin lilt by stuttering, “In the Cup for Totting-ham.”

2. ANFIELD RAP
Liverpool, 1988
The sheer horror of this hip-hop parody should have been a sign that Liverpool were doomed to suffer one of the greatest shocks in FA Cup history at the hands of Wimbledon. Dressed in wonky caps, sunglasses and gold bling, John Barnes and crew rapped, “They’ve won the league, bigger stars than Dallas, they got more silver than Buckingham Palace.”

3. COME ON YOU REDS
Manchester United, 1994
Based on the melody of Status Quo’s Burning Bridges, this sounded more like a nursery rhyme than a pop song, but somehow spent two weeks at No1. The chorus wheezed, “Come on you Reds, just keep your bottle and use your heads,” while the lyrical tactic of name-dropping just 14 players would cause riots in today’s bloated squads.

4. ALL TOGETHER NOW
Everton, 1995
One of the more tuneful FA Cup singles, but only because the Everton players stole a proper song by Merseyside band The Farm and added the words “for Everton”. Another version of the song was oddly released by the England team ahead of Euro 2004 and again by Atomic Kitten for the 2006 Fifa World Cup.

5. HOT STUFF
Arsenal, 1998
The association of Donna Summer’s Hot Stuff with British male stripper comedy The Full Monty, which hit cinemas the year before Arsenal released their FA Cup cover version, makes this sinisterly chilling. “Come on you Arsenal — yeah, you’re the hot stuff,” chanted Steve Bould and Ray Parlour, unsettling nearly everyone.

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