Does it amaze you that you’re now working with people such as Cruise and Steven Spielberg?
If I could have known that when I was young, I would have just been running around screaming with excitement. I mean, the first time I met Spielberg, I almost crashed on the freeway, because I was kind of like, “Yaaarrggh!”
Are you the only British actor who’s managed to avoid appearing in any Richard Curtis films?
Richard Curtis had a read-through for Love Actually and I read the part that Rowan Atkinson eventually played. That was when the script was like that [4in] thick. As opposed to that [2in] thick.
Now you’re famous, do you get weird fan mail?
I get a lot of fan mail because I’ve become attached to big fanbases like Star Trek, Doctor Who and Narnia now as well. Occasionally you get odd letters.
Well, I know there’s a guy who writes to actresses and always asks for pictures of their hands. He’s in prison.
You’re a big tweeter. What’s your favourite Twitter moment?
We did a real-time Twitter Paranormal Activity play. I tweeted one morning that my attic was open and I didn’t know why. I did know why, it was a faulty catch. Everyone was going, “Oh that’s really creepy.” So then I started to lie... I tweeted that my dog was sat underneath it barking. Then I said, “I’m going to go up there and check it out. I’ll be back in five minutes.” And I didn’t come back for two days.
And Nick Frost was involved too, right?
I said to Nick and my sister Kate, “If people ask you where I am, say you don’t know, then say you’re going to come round my house.” And then they all vanished. And we vanished for two days. Then the only thing I tweeted after disappearing was this phrase in Ancient Greek: “They’re my children now and you will never see them again.” It was really creepy. Then three days later, exactly five minutes after I’d gone up before, I tweeted, “There’s nothing up there. It’s fine.”
What might you have been if you’d never made it as an actor?
There was a time when I wanted to be a vet, but I don’t have any technical mathematical skills. I don’t have a brain like that. It doesn’t do maths. I was always very interested in special effects. I might have gone into prosthetic make-up. I was always building little heads and filling them with blood and squashing them in vices when I was a kid.
Who would play you in your biopic?
I’m trying to think of an actor the equivalent of me at 20. Somebody... I’m so out of touch with the youngsters now. Maybe Michael Cera seeing as Edgar [Wright] has replaced me with Michael for Scott Pilgrim.
Now that you’ve ticked off Star Trek, would you like to star in Superman or Bond?
Only to play a villain; I could never play either of them. We were at Comic-Con recently and we saw Daniel Craig and he is a leading man. He’s just got the look, he’s built, he’s got the requisite. I don’t. I’m just a regular guy.
How about Q?
That’d be fun. Somebody said that to me, “You should be the new Q.” Now I’m a voice in the new Narnia movie, I’d like to do something that’s not attached to a brand.
You’re starring with Craig in Steven Spielberg’s upcoming Tintin. Maybe you could text him about Q?
Yeah! Yeah, I could actually. “Hey Daniel…” I don’t know what’s happening with Bond. That’s all up in the air. He’s got about a million things on, so he’s not worried.
Check out part three here...