In summer London Underground is bar none the worst place on this godforsaken planet.
Which is why the suspension of reality comes as a very welcome relief. Most people do their best to dream of air/con and ice cream.
But now Rekall, the fictional company in this year's Total Recall movie, a reboot of the 1990 Arnie classic, is advertising its services to the tube's 2.7 million daily passengers.
Rekall, lest we forget, is a corporation that provides its clients with implanted artificial memories of the lives they would like to have. On the underground people apparently dream of bikini-clad women and football, with Rekall careful to add that "side effects may include sleeplessness, headaches, memory loss, paranoia, delusions, schizophrenia and possible death."
All we really want on the tube is the ability to breathe without looking like this in front of our fellow commuters.