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Jon Richardson’s housemate horrors

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Like many ShortList readers (and writers), Jon Richardson lives with his friends. And, like many ShortList readers (and writers), this situation irks him occasionally. Ahead of the comedian’s new podcast series for ShortList.com – which will be hosted by Jon and his (fellow comedian) housemates – he outlines the four most potentially problematic things about sharing a roof with your mates.

WASHING UP

“My housemates don’t wash to what I would call a satisfactory level. They’ll wash very dirty things – bean pans and such – and then use the same sponge to do the cups. I used to take dirty plates out of the sink and put them on the beds of the people responsible.”

THE FRIDGE

“I’ve given up on this. I used to be a chef so I’ve had food training, but surely it’s just common sense not to put an open packet of chicken on a bag of lettuce?”

THE TV

“We’re not too bad with the TV. One of my housemates doesn’t like sport, so if he wants to watch The X Factor or something, he just goes to his room. I’ve never watched The X Factor. To me, the show is a bit like marijuana. I’ve never smoked marijuana, not because I’ve got a problem with it, but because I’m worried I’d get really into it. Same thing with The X Factor.”

CLEANLINESS

“The place was once so dirty that I cleaned it while my housemates were out and wrote each of them a separate bill, calculating how much they each owed me based on the minimum wage. I was trying to be taken seriously, but when you’re wearing a pinny at 4am, looking like Nora Batty, it’s difficult.”

Jon Richardson’s Funny Magnet DVD is out now

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