Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

The Worst Movie Christmases

trading places.jpg
movie xmas.jpg
scrooged.jpg

It's the season to be jolly, right? Well, not for everyone.  Christmas can be a time of misery, violence and heartache – being surrounded by family in other words.

We jest. Slightly. What follows are the ultimate anti-Christmas Christmas movie scenes. And remember: no matter how things seem on December 25, someone, somewhere, will be having a worse time than you.

So, chin up, get the Santa suit on and sup another mug of dead sweet, egg-laced brandy…

Gremlins (1984)

How did you find out there was no tubby bearded man dressed in red who traversed the globe in a sleigh delivering presents to all and sundry? Ours was fairly routine. A miserable cousin told us. So, nothing compared to how Kate Beringer (childhood crush Phoebe Cates) found out then. Just imagine the smell.


LA Confidential (1997)

Alcohol and Christmas is a combustible mix – put some hot-headed LAPD into the mix and you’ve got one very violent melee...


Trading Places (1983)

You know when we mentioned that there’s always someone worse off than you at this most special time of year? To wit: the crestfallen Louis Winthorpe III (Dan Aykroyd).


Scrooged (1988)

After buying a house and getting married, Christmas is one of the most stressful situations known to man, woman, baby Jesus, the donkeys in the stable and the innkeeper. Moreover, it happens every year. So the last thing you – or in this case Frank Cross (Bill Murray) - need is an excitable New York taxi driver (David Johansen) intent on taking you to places you really don’t want to revisit.


The Ref (1994)

Christmas – a time for families to put aside their differences, or the opportune moment to bring up all of your issues? And what if you’re being held hostage by a bogus marriage counsellor (Denis Leary) to boot?


National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

Even if everyone in your family was the worst cook ever, they still wouldn’t be as bad as the chef behind this turkey of a, erm, turkey. But then that’s the Griswolds for you. Yule crack up.


Bad Santa (2003)

The joyous and beatific version of Father Christmas that we understand, and dare we say, worship, today owes much to the mid-19th Century and that era’s need to mythologise the past. Billy Bob Thornton’s version of Santa owes everything to the drunk tank that Shane McGowan sings about in Fairytale Of New York.


Die Hard (1988)

It’s Christmas Eve, you’re at a party, what could possibly go wrong? How’s about a vaguely posh English chap taking everyone hostage, while some broadly alpha male, borderline alcoholic New Jersey cop runs around screaming yippee ki yay?


Tommy (1975)

Christmas parties are marvellous occasions – lots of merry folk being lovely to each other. Unless you happen to be partying with an extremely drunk Oliver Reed.


Babe (1995)

As this collection of non-sympathetic Christmas clips ably demonstrates this time of year means carnage. For those beasts we’re preparing to chow down on come December 25, this is doubly so. Christmas means carnage!

(Images: All Star)

Related

BILLY_BOB_THORNTON_afc9454.jpg

12 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Bad Santa

MACAULAY_CULKIN_ct2360.jpg

15 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Home Alone 2

7.jpg

15 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Gremlins

Apes.jpg

10 Blu-ray Box Sets You Need To Know About This Christmas

rexfeatures_390848jl.jpg

20 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Die Hard

honut3.jpg

The Christmas Dinner Doughnut

Comments

More

Exclusive: Sam Neill confirms he's in Thor 3

23 Sep 2016

Chris Pratt is a big deal - and we couldn't be happier for him

Chris Pratt talks to Jimi Famurewa about stripping off, the pay gap and why he’s happy to be a piece of meat

22 Sep 2016

See the hilarious War On Everyone for FREE

ShortList Film Club gives you the chance to catch it first and for free

21 Sep 2016

Morgan Spurlock's 'Rats' documentary is the biggest horror of 2016

If you weren't already terrified of rats then you will be after this by Paddy Maddison

19 Sep 2016

Why does Bill Murray have no friends?

Is there are more sinister side to why Billy 'No Mates' Murray needs to be worshipped? by Tristan Cross

15 Sep 2016

Six reasons new thriller The Clan is unmissable

by Joe Ellison

15 Sep 2016

Daniel Radcliffe has issues in exclusive clip for new Neo-Nazi drama

He's come a long way since Harry Potter by Paddy Maddison

13 Sep 2016

Stylised Sci-Fi posters bring new life to your favourite films

Your favourite Sci-Fi films reimagined by Paddy Maddison

13 Sep 2016

Mad Max without special effects is still incredible

Those of a nervous disposition may wish to look away now. by Paddy Maddison

13 Sep 2016

Does this confirm Wolverine dies in the next film?

Boyd Holbrook hints it might be the end of Logan's run

13 Sep 2016