Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

The Worst Movie Christmases

trading places.jpg
movie xmas.jpg
scrooged.jpg

It's the season to be jolly, right? Well, not for everyone.  Christmas can be a time of misery, violence and heartache – being surrounded by family in other words.

We jest. Slightly. What follows are the ultimate anti-Christmas Christmas movie scenes. And remember: no matter how things seem on December 25, someone, somewhere, will be having a worse time than you.

So, chin up, get the Santa suit on and sup another mug of dead sweet, egg-laced brandy…

Gremlins (1984)

How did you find out there was no tubby bearded man dressed in red who traversed the globe in a sleigh delivering presents to all and sundry? Ours was fairly routine. A miserable cousin told us. So, nothing compared to how Kate Beringer (childhood crush Phoebe Cates) found out then. Just imagine the smell.


LA Confidential (1997)

Alcohol and Christmas is a combustible mix – put some hot-headed LAPD into the mix and you’ve got one very violent melee...


Trading Places (1983)

You know when we mentioned that there’s always someone worse off than you at this most special time of year? To wit: the crestfallen Louis Winthorpe III (Dan Aykroyd).


Scrooged (1988)

After buying a house and getting married, Christmas is one of the most stressful situations known to man, woman, baby Jesus, the donkeys in the stable and the innkeeper. Moreover, it happens every year. So the last thing you – or in this case Frank Cross (Bill Murray) - need is an excitable New York taxi driver (David Johansen) intent on taking you to places you really don’t want to revisit.


The Ref (1994)

Christmas – a time for families to put aside their differences, or the opportune moment to bring up all of your issues? And what if you’re being held hostage by a bogus marriage counsellor (Denis Leary) to boot?


National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

Even if everyone in your family was the worst cook ever, they still wouldn’t be as bad as the chef behind this turkey of a, erm, turkey. But then that’s the Griswolds for you. Yule crack up.


Bad Santa (2003)

The joyous and beatific version of Father Christmas that we understand, and dare we say, worship, today owes much to the mid-19th Century and that era’s need to mythologise the past. Billy Bob Thornton’s version of Santa owes everything to the drunk tank that Shane McGowan sings about in Fairytale Of New York.


Die Hard (1988)

It’s Christmas Eve, you’re at a party, what could possibly go wrong? How’s about a vaguely posh English chap taking everyone hostage, while some broadly alpha male, borderline alcoholic New Jersey cop runs around screaming yippee ki yay?


Tommy (1975)

Christmas parties are marvellous occasions – lots of merry folk being lovely to each other. Unless you happen to be partying with an extremely drunk Oliver Reed.


Babe (1995)

As this collection of non-sympathetic Christmas clips ably demonstrates this time of year means carnage. For those beasts we’re preparing to chow down on come December 25, this is doubly so. Christmas means carnage!

(Images: All Star)

Related

BILLY_BOB_THORNTON_afc9454.jpg

12 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Bad Santa

MACAULAY_CULKIN_ct2360.jpg

15 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Home Alone 2

7.jpg

15 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Gremlins

Apes.jpg

10 Blu-ray Box Sets You Need To Know About This Christmas

rexfeatures_390848jl.jpg

20 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Die Hard

honut3.jpg

The Christmas Dinner Doughnut

Comments

More

Brendan Gleeson: "I was thrilled to be cut down by Daniel Day-Lewis"

Brendan Gleeson on being entertained by Gambon and killed by Day-Lewis

by Ralph Jones
22 Jun 2017

Can you guess the highest grossing film for every year since 1980?

Genuinely: no, you can't

by Gary Ogden
21 Jun 2017

Don't panic, but the Han Solo movie just lost both of its directors

Don't ruin this for us now

by Carl Anka
21 Jun 2017

Daniel Day-Lewis announces he's retiring from acting

His final film will air later this year

by Alex Finnis
21 Jun 2017

Netflix’s new Hulk Hogan documentary looks like essential viewing

It couldn't have come at a better time

by Tom Victor
16 Jun 2017

The 17 ultimate screen dads

The daddies of them all

16 Jun 2017

The 'Dodgeball' cast have reunited for a surprise mini-sequel

Watch it here

by Gary Ogden
15 Jun 2017

Stunning footage of Bruce Lee's only "real fight" has been unearthed

The martial arts expert looking just as masterful away from Hollywood

by Carl Anka
14 Jun 2017

Edgar Wright has teased the possibility of Hot Fuzz 2

The greatest buddy cop film of all time... Part 2?

by Carl Anka
09 Jun 2017

Nick Offerman: "I would have sold my family to play Gimli"

The moustachioed funny man on varnishing, magnets, and his Gimli ambitions

by Ralph Jones
08 Jun 2017