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Star Wars characters without electricity

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We don't know what the Death Star's energy bill was like or how many AA batteries went into a light-saber, but there's one thing we do know: a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, if you weren't plugged in, you were an Ewok. But which characters would've coped without electricty? We'll tell you...

(Images: All Star)

Darth Vader

Darth would’ve been less affected than some by a lack of electricty. He wielded considerable influence in cultural circles, so getting a small orchestra to follow him around and play the Imperial March wouldn’t have been a problem, while a plastic beaker and a rubber band would’ve taken care of any scary breathing issues. On the other hand, it would’ve taken a lot longer to dispense with Obi-Wan using a roll of bright red wallpaper..

Han Solo

Solo had three things going for him: his waistcoat, his mate Chewbacca and the Millennium Falcon. His waistcoat wasn’t a novelty lightbulb waistcoat, so no problems there, and, as far we know, Chewbacca wasn’t fitted with any kind of tag. The difficulty would’ve been replacing the Falcon; somehow boasting of the “fastest bicycle in the galaxy” doesn’t sound quite as impressive.

Admiral Ackbar

Aside from putting you off calamari, dressing like a dentist and pointing out the bleedin’ obvious (i.e. it’s a trap), Ackbar had one major function in Return of the Jedi: to point at holograms. This, obviously, is difficult without electricity, so he’d have had to suffice with an Ewok holding a beach ball painted like the forest moon of Endor and an Ewok standing on a stool with a football painted like a Death Star. (This football would be replaced by a Swiss ball when Ackbar wanted to ‘zoom in’.)

Emperor Palpatine

We’re not sure where he kept the batteries, but the Emperor’s main use for electricity was to make it come out of his fingers and give Luke Skywalker a curious sensation that was in equal doses painful and pleasurable, leaving him ‘confused’ about the feelings he had. Without that digital wattage, there’s only one way the wrinkly totalitarian could’ve produced the same results: a good old fashioned tickle.

Jabba the Hutt

“Jubbalubbalubbalubbalubba So-lo,” is something Jabba the Hutt might’ve said to explain to Han Solo that, because there was no longer any electricity, the carbonite machine wasn’t working any more and this particular party-loving slug was going to have to ‘preserve’ his guest fully-conscious in quick-drying cement with his face showing so he could be fed (and nothing but carefully-positioned funnel and drainpipe to deal with his ‘business’).

R2-D2 and C-3PO

Tricky one this. These comedy-providing droids were of course powered by elastic trickery and therefore to remove it would be to remove their very life force. However, if R2-D2 and C-3PO’s innards had been replaced by, respectively, Fidgit from Time Bandits and a British thespian whose later roles would include that of ‘Priest’ in I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle, then they could’ve functioned almost completely autonomously.

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