Adam Buxton fights for 6 Music

I hear you challenged BBC boss Mark Thompson to a fight on TV last night. Has he been in touch about that at all?

No, he’s frightened. Because he knows that I’m a burly man. He’s a desk jockey. I’m a disc jockey. A very different kind of man. I’m powerful. And he’s not used to physical confrontations, it’s more mental for him. But things are going to change, because he’s messed with the wrong guy.

What’s the plan of attack? How’s it going to go down?

I’m going to come up behind him and grab his buttocks, that’ll surprise him. Then he’ll spin round, and then I’ll twist his nipples quite badly. Then I’m going to ruffle his hair, his thinning thatch of hair. And then I’m going to give him a wedgie that he’ll never forget. And once that’s finished, I’m pretty sure he’ll change his mind.

He’ll make the call there and then I think.

I think so.

What other avenues could you suggest the BBC should pursue? Does it bother you that the bill for Jonathon Ross and Jeremy Clarkson together comes to more than it costs to run 6 Music for the year?

Umm… I’m not really a financial genius, but they talk about wanting to do “less, better”, and that’s a laudable ambition, but I can’t believe that it’s really going to change the actual quality of the output in a lot of cases, I think that they are, for one reason or another, committed to churning out more of the same old bollocks. More of the dance shows, more of the property shows and these kind of things, and they do them with high production values in a way that people like to see, I suppose. I just think that that stuff is hard to justify. I think they can do less of those kind of shows, and I think they can do more of the kind of shows that no-one else can afford to do. Other commercial companies find it very difficult to take a gamble with a big budget production. But what the BBC does the best, and what people really love the BBC for is the dramas and the wildlife documentaries, those things do cost a lot of money when they’re done well. And if they channel that money into some of those things, and forget about doing all the stupid other stuff, then I don’t think anyone’s really going to think less of them.

Do you there should be some kind of event going on, some kind of Live Aid-style fundraiser? Who would you put on to headline?

Oh Christ. It’s a weird day to be talking about fundraisers on the day that the news has come out about 90 per cent of funds raised by Live Aid being used to buy arms. I don’t know.

Is it time for Bono to get involved?

I think it’s time for Bono to stay away. He seems to have the kiss of death in a lot of situations. I’m really pleased that he’s so far decided to remain aloof as concerns 6 Music. But I’m delighted that Bowie has spoken out.

Yeah, there’s been a lot of high profile people pledging support. Have any of them been in contact personally?

Radiohead. They were very disappointed to hear about it. I was doing some work with them last week and they heard about it and they were all really gutted. They have 6 Music on all the time in the studio, playing in the kitchen. 6 Music in many ways sums up what they’re all about. They’re a very good example of a very good 6 Music band, that ploughs its own furrow like the station itself, but manages to have a broad appeal. We’re not talking about a completely obscure station that’s so niche it’s a total waste of money. We’re talking about something with the potential to really cross over, but not so massively that it threatens other commercial stations who wouldn’t be able to have a station like 6 Music.

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